But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.
Isaiah 40:31 (ESV)
Almost 50 years ago, Darryl and I were married. In the midst of planning how to celebrate our 50th Wedding Anniversary on June 20, 2020, he has been joking that he only signed up for the first 50 years—and now I need to find a creative way to get him to “re-enlist”!
To meet this challenge and win him over, I have decided to use his love language of humor to compare marriage and military life. I sincerely hope this blogpost entertains him as much as it does me because if it doesn’t keep me married, nothing will!
Marriage is like the military. It can alternate between tedium and stress. In addition, someone is always inspecting everything you do and setting your agenda without your permission. Marital roles vary back and forth between private first class and drill sergeant. However, one of the great benefits of barracks life is hanging out with trusted intimates who can yield top notch satirical responses to the events of the day.
With these thoughts in mind, here are my top ten satirical but scintillating reasons to re-enlist:
- Most of your important decisions have already been made—now you coast.
- Days are diamonds or stones—sharing multiplies the benefits and divides the load.
- Neither of you is allowed to become dull, selfish or self-centered.
- Someone has promised to value your opinion—no matter how silly or irrelevant.
- There is no need to explain your unusual taste in food, books, movies or music.
- When life gets monotonous—you can annoy him/her and see what happens.
- Someone else is responsible to make sure you put your clothes on properly.
- One person knows where you are and what you are doing—at least some of the time.
- You not only do your own job, but many other collateral duties, as well.
- After 50 years, you are probably over 70—why start over?
Considering these pros and cons—re-enlisting in marriage is a good choice. That way your special someone will be there to LOVE you during the good—the bad—and the ugly. Are you listening, Darryl?