Let no corrupting (unwholesome or injurious) talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
Ephesians 4:29 (ESV)
I was in my neighborhood CVS store checking out with the cashier. We visited about her work—and I noticed she seemed especially tired at the end of her shift. She mentioned to me that customers had been rude to her that day. I said, “Please don’t let them get you down. You are an exceptionally good employee! You are always friendly and kind!!”
As I turned to walk out of the store, a man approached her and said loud enough for me to hear, “I hear you are friendly and kind!” I got the biggest kick out of knowing that she received much-needed affirmation not once—but twice in one day!
My cashier friend may not know it yet, but we have begun a meaningful conversation that I hope to carefully develop in the days ahead. Years ago, I stumbled across an extremely helpful chart of Communication Levels which opens a path to significant places with others. I am reproducing it here with my own modifications to show how it is possible to open the door to divine appointments and build trust—even in challenging circumstances.
Level 5—Cliché Conversation – This type of conversation is very safe. We use phrases such as “How are you?” “How is your family?” without any personal sharing.
Level 4—Reporting Facts – We check for safety with others by talking about what someone else has said, without committing ourselves or offering any personal commentary.
Level 3—Ideas and Conclusions – We tentatively share our ideas and conclusions, but we are still cautious, and if we sense a lack of acceptance we will quickly retreat.
Level 2—Feelings and Emotions – We overcome a risk of rejection by openly revealing our genuine feelings about our ideas and conclusions.
Level 1—Truthful Communication – We communicate openly and honestly and refuse to back away from an opportunity to open ourselves up to greater freedom and growth.
Reaching Level 1 in one conversation can happen occasionally with divine appointments—but only after acceptance and trust have overcome the risk involved. Let’s begin a new adventure into the art of conversation!