For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.
Genesis 2:24 (NAS)
The bedrock of marriage is loving by covenant! Let me explain: It is called a lapse of love when either a husband or wife or both partners in a marriage relationship look away from God temporarily. A lapse can be easily identified by a predictable result—conflict. When either one or both of the partners are ready to return to God’s design, remembering these covenants will help to diagnose the problem(s).
- Covenant 1 – Loving headship provides protection for the wife.
God has placed within the woman a need to feel secure. God has instructed the husband to provide protection. When, with the help of the Spirit of God, he provides an environment that is physically, emotionally, and spiritually safe, he is loving her. (Ephesians 5:25-27) - Covenant 2 – Loving headship provides honor for the wife.
God has placed within the woman a need to be treated with honor. To honor is to recognize the worth God has given her and to treat her with that worth. Listening to what she communicates is honoring her. When a man responds by initiating sacrificial actions to meet the real needs of his wife, he is loving her. (1 Peter 3:7) - Covenant 3 – Loving submission responds with respect for the husband.
God has placed within the man a need to feel respected. To respect or to give reverence is to recognize the divinely given role of responsibility that God has designed for the husband. When a woman treats her husband with reverence, he will attempt to be worthy of that trust. By respecting him, she is loving him. (Ephesians 5:33) - Covenant 4 – Loving submission responds with support for the husband.
God has placed within the man a need to fulfill his dreams. A husband is incomplete without his wife and knows he cannot carry out what God has given him to accomplish. When a wife partners with her husband to support his dreams for himself, their family and their future, she is loving him. (Ephesians 5:22-23; 1 Peter 3:1a)
When one or more of these covenants are violated, the marriage suffers. Either the wife is NOT feeling protected and/or honored or the husband is NOT feeling respected and/or supported. Recommitting to these covenants will rapidly return a marriage to God’s design, provided both partners desire to be obedient. Even if one partner is alone in this desire, be encouraged! Joyful rest inevitably follows obedient choices