…so that you will not grieve as do the rest who have no hope. For [since] we believe that Jesus died and rose again…
1 Thessalonians 4:13&14 (NASB)
As I finished the last page of a recent book, I realized the theme was a phrase that was unfamiliar to me. The story line described how the years of suffering by the main characters were for nothing because *“unchecked grief was an evil friend.”
Grief is a reaction to loss; a deep and poignant distress; keen mental suffering; sharp sorrow; or painful regret. Unchecked grief—I would venture to say—hardens the heart. It is a silent, insidious threat to faith which comes very close to the black despair and empty hopelessness displayed by unbelievers.
Too often, we understand grief only as it pertains to divorce, or sickness, or the loss of a loved one. But it can also be caused by failed expectations, the death of one’s dreams, feelings of abandonment, rejection, being wronged, or even being left out of a group. Most times, done properly, grieving is an essential element of healing. In fact, running away from grief—ignoring or denying it exists—is just another manifestation, or phase, of grieving.
Perhaps unchecked grief is entrenched within us more than we realize. It is easily recognized because it births anger and bitterness. It coddles unforgiveness and toys with the mind. It fosters anxiety and depression. It turns us inward, and in the process drives us to find fault with, and even reject, the outreach of loved ones. It may even cause us to run into the arms of those we think will “mourn” with us, only to find they are wallowing in their own grievances.
New evidence shows that grief left unchecked can turn into what is called persistent complex bereavement disorder—which can make you feel worthless and suicidal. This unhealthy downward spiral requires immediate medical and spiritual attention.
Take a few moments now to quietly revisit the bedrock of your faith. Is your faith wavering? Did Jesus walk on this earth? Do you believe He died and rose again? Let faith arise and renewal will slowly begin to appear. No matter what has happened, reaffirm that life is GOOD in the shadow of His wings.
*The Memory House, Nashville, Tennessee: Thomas Nelson, p. 327.